The State of Vegetation

I invite you to sit down in front of your television set when your station
goes on the air . . . and keep your eyes glued to that set until the station
signs off. I can assure you that you will observe a vast wasteland.
-- Newton Norman Minow
Former Chair of the FCC

I've watched All My Children for about 20 years. When I was finally clean, I discovered newsgroups, and the cycle began anew.

It's not so much the show that's a time suck. I fast forward through much of it, though I tape it daily. It's RATSA (rec.arts.tv.soaps.abc)that drains every available minute from me. These are a few of my RATSA related activities:

• I'm a vocal member of Banding Against Brooke English (BABE) and I coined our catch phrase, such as it is. I highly recommend the Brooke Game created by RATSA's Ashley Lambert-Maberly

The aorta makes an excellent sock puppet and will hereinafter be represented by the tympani. Lines like that and Tom Servo (pictured at the left), the official doughy bot of the Satellite of Love, are among the many reasons that I love Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Being an MST fan means more than a commitment of two hours a week. There's the stalking of past and present cast members and the the mailbombing of dunderheaded network officials. That's not even including all the time I have to devote to taking the decisions of Best Brains, Inc. extremely personally. And when I get done with the whinging and the feeling sorry for myself...well, there just aren't enough hours in the day. But I kid the show and its fans. Here are some of the worthwhile MST related activities I expend time and energy on: